My Daughter
by LunarSchreave
Summary: Konn Torin has always wanted a daughter but never thought he would have one. Once Cinder regains her throne, parts of Torin's past comes back to haunt him. Maybe he will finally get a daughter after all. All rights go to Marissa Meyer.
1. My daughter

"Peneloppe, can you sit down? We need to talk."

I hate worrying my wife of thirteen years, but this time it was necessary. This was serious, more serious than normal. This is about something that happened almost 18 years ago.

Penelope sits down on the couch beside me.

"Torin are you okay? You have been acting weird the past few days and it is worrying me."

I look her in the eyes and knew that I had to tell her the truth.

"Peneloppe there is something I need to tell you."

"What, what is it?" She places a hand on my thigh in concern.

"Almost 18 years ago I was sent to Luna for six weeks on a diplomatic mission."

"What about that trip? I know you took it, it is not exactly private news."

When I don't say anything for a moment, she asks "Torin what aren't you telling me?"

Multiple emotions grace her face in a matter moments.

"What I have never told you is what happened behind the scenes on that trip. When I arrived I met the late Queen Channary. At first sight I was immediately taken by her beauty and no-nonsense-attitude.

"After a week of being on Luna, I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dinner and she accepted. She wasn't a very good person, P, but she was different with me. She let down her walls. We took to each other straight away. Soon we were seeing each other in private all the time. We even used to sneak out to the regolith sectors to get away from the hustle and bustle of Artemisia palace.

"We fell in love, P, fast and hard. She even let me see her without her glamour on and she was still beautiful. But like everything, all good things must come to an end. A week before I left someone must have said something to her because then all of a sudden she thought I had been using her the whole time to get Lunar secrets for Emperor Rikan. I tried to her that I would never do that to her but it was no use, she had already made up her mind. I left a week later and never spoke to her again."

Silence filled the air.

"Torin?"

"Yes?"

"When did leave Luna?"

"I can't remember the exact date, but it was around mid to late march, 109 T.E."

"That is nine months before Queen Selene was born."

"I know."

"You think that you're her father, don't you?" Penelope looked at me with kindness in her eyes.

"I, I don't know. Channary to my knowledge was only with me during the four weeks we were together, but that leaves a couple weeks of wiggle room and knowing Channary, she most likely had someone warming her bed. I just don't know what to do."

"I think that we should go find out if you have a daughter," P says looking me in the eye.

She gives me a look and I knew that no matter what happens she would stand by me and support me.

~tlc~KAIDER~tlc~

"Konn-dàren, such a pleasure. How may I help you today?" Fateen asks us from behind her desk.

When left, Fateen took his place and office. I had requested a meeting in here because it was private and if there is a doctor I trust in the research wing of the palace, it is Fateen.

I look over to Penelope, who is sitting in the chair beside me. She gives me an encouraging smile and nods.

I lean forward and place the palms of my hands on the edge of her desk.

"I want to have a paternity test done."

Fateens eyes widen.

"A p-paternity? For who?"

"Queen Selene of Luna."

"Oh, you want to know the father of the Lunar queen. Well, for one we need to ask permission first. And then if we do get permission, we would need a blood sample possible father to see if the DNA matches and no one knows who it could be."

I thought she would say that.

I lower my voice and lean in even closer to Fateen, practically whispering into her ear.

"The thing is that we need to keep it private for now and if my suspicions are correct, I will tell her Majesty myself in person when she comes to visit Emperor Kaito in two weeks."

Fateen just cocks her head at me.

"And whose DNA will I be trying to match with hers?"

"Mine."

~tlc~KAIDER~tlc~

Fateen pulls gloves onto her hands and faces Penelope and I.

"Okay, well this is a fairly simple procedure. I just need to take a blood sample and put it into this computer," She gestures at the computer behind her which already has something on the screen.

"And then what?" Penelope says, standing behind the chair I'm sitting on and placing a hand on my right shoulder.

"As you can see I already have Her Majesty's DNA on the screen because we have samples of her blood from the Cyborg Draft. When I put in Konn-dàren's blood sample, his DNA will show up too. Then all I have to do is see if they are compatible."

"So you need to see if our DNA matches, am I correct?"

"Yes, now if you can please hold out your arm we can start."

I hold out the arm and feel the needle pierce my skin and see it fill with my blood. In seconds the needle is out of my arm, and Fateen is uploading my sample to the computer.

Fateen turns and smiles at us.

"Now while we are waiting for the results, I would like to know what position you want to be in when you get the results."

"Position?" Penelope and I say at the same time.

"Where you want to be. You can continue sitting there but you will most likely see the results as they come in. You can simply turn around or you can wait in the hall. I have no preference so the choice is all yours."

P and I look at each other.

"I think we will wait in the hallway, if you don't mind Miss Fateen," Penelope answers for us.

"Oh! Not at all! Right this way," Fateen says leading us into the hallway.

The hallway was quiet with two chairs just outside the office. It was a private hall and the only ones who ever come down this way is Fateen and med droids.

P and I sit down on the lush green chairs as Fateen excuses herself. We don't say anything for a few silent moments and it feels like an eternity waiting to find out if I have a daughter or not.

"What will we tell Ryan? I mean if it is true?" Penelope asks as we lean together.

Ryan Rikan Konn was our seven year old son. Born later into our lives because we thought we were infertile. Ryan was a normal boy who likes trucks and airplanes with shaggy brown hair in a manner very similar to His Imperial Majesty.

"We tell him the truth. We shouldn't lie P, it goes against our morals."

"I know it is just how do we tell him. He has spent his whole life without siblings and knowing he will never have any and then suddenly he has a seventeen year old sister? One who is Lunar and Cyborg?"

I pull away from her.

"Is there a problem with her?" I say to her angrily.

"I don't mean it like that, what I mean is that it would be a lot for a seven year old just to find out that he has a sister. But to find out that she is cyborg and lunar? Both of those are things he has been told to fear. It is just a lot to take in.

"Torin, you must know that if she is your daughter that I will love her no matter what. She is a part of you Torin, one from before we met and even though I don't like the fact that you slept with Queen Channary, it happened before we met and I can't hold it against you or her for that matter," Penelope finishes.

Before I can respond Fateen comes into the hallway.

"Sorry for the delay, I had to update your profile Konn-dáren, with your new blood samples."

My hands start to tremble and Penelope takes them in her own.

"Congratulations Konn-dàren, it would seem you have a daughter."


	2. Your Sister

This was originally posted on so I already have the next chapter typed. I wanted one review for the first chapter before I posted the second. And I want two reviews before I release the next one and so on and so on. I'm sure you get the just of it. Hopefully that will motivate me to write ?.

I am in need of a beta so if anyone has any suggestions feel free to tell me.

All rights go to the amazing Marissa Meyer.

And now with the chapter.

* * *

The Hover Car ride home was silent. I have a daughter. Though neither of us would ever say anything, we both didn't know what this meant for us.

The silence continues once we are home and sitting on the couch until it is interrupted by an user called ImperialAviator07 sending us a comm on my port screen. Quickly hitting accept, I hold my port screen up so both of us can see it.

"Hi Ryan," Penelope says.

"Hi mom! Wait, are you and dad wearing a coat?" He asks confused.

"Yes," I answer "I had some last minute work things to take care of and your mother wanted to come along and we just got back."

"Oh, okay. Ethan's mom says I can stay the night if you guys are okay with it, so you won't have to pick me up or worry about me tonight. I even have some clothes here," He says in an effort to convince us.

"Yes, you can spend the night but we are sending a Hover over at 0900 sharp tomorrow," I tell him knowing we have to tell him about his sister sooner rather than later.

"Thanks dad! Love you!" Ethan nearly screams in delight.

"Love you too," Penelope barely manages to squeeze in before the comm link is ended.

"You know we have to tell him, right Torin?"

"I know, we will tell him tomorrow.

~tlc~KAIDER~tlc~

*a couple hours later*

I sigh and stretch my arms over my head. It has been a long day and I still have a couple hours left before I am finished.

"Royal Droid, Nainsi, requesting entrance," A monotone mechanical voice rings out.

"Entrance granted," I call out.

"Your Imperial Majesty," Nainsi says as she rolls in.

"Oh Nainsi," I say formality gone "You are my oldest friend, you know that you can call me Kai."

"Yes but it is goes against my programming to do so, your majesty."

My laugh echoes off the walls of my office.

"Nainsi, you always know how to make me laugh even if it was intentional or not."

"I will take that as a compliment, your highness."

"It is meant to be Nainsi. Now what did you come in for because if I know you it just wasn't for shits and giggles."

"You didn't need to use foul language, your imperial majesty."

"I know Nainsi, but it is an expression. Once again, what did you come for or come to tell me?"

"I noticed earlier that your royal advisor Konn Torin had returned after hours and his ID chip was used but he didn't come to see you or go to his office instead he went to the research wing."

"And? Please get to the point Nainsi, I don't have time for dilly dallying."

"He, along with his wife daren-jie, went to go see Doctor Fateen."

"So? Torin and Penelope went to go see Fateen. Big whoop."

"But it is what test that was ran on 's personal computer precisley thirteen minutes after they arrived, Your Majesty."

"Humour me Nainsi, what kind of test?"

"A Paternity test, Your Imperial Majesty."

~tlc~KAIDER~tlc~

*the next day*

"Mom! Dad! I'M HOME!" I yell slamming the door shut behind me even though our droid. Marlene, was trying to do it herself.

My thoughts go back to just a few minutes ago. As my father had told me, a hover came to get me at precisely 0900 sharp. The hover car was spent with me trying to figure out why my parents wanted me home early. My parents are strict -especially dad- but even they were usually more lenient on time than this, so there must be something going on.

"Ryan!" My mother scolds me as she comes down the stairs "What have we told you about raising your voice?"

"Never raise your voice, Ryan dearest, especially when you are inside. Not even when you are outside because it is impolite." I mimic.

"Ryan, don't talk to your mother like that," My dad says in a stern voice, appearing in the entrance way."

"Never mind that Torin. How about we all go to the living room?" My mom says but she starts walking before I can think of an reply.

In our living room there are two arm chairs and a couch all facing each other because apparently "it leads to quality bonding time" like we don't do enough of that already. My parents each take a chair making me take the couch as usual.

As mom starts to open her mouth, I blurt out "What is going on?"

My parents look surprised.

In a gruff voice my dad asks "What do you mean? Nothing is going on."

"Yes there is!" My voice goes a little higher "Don't lie to me! I'm not a baby and I'm not stupid. What is going on?!"

That made them ponder over their next words.

Finally mom says "Ryan, we have something to tell you."

I snort "Obviously."

"Ryan! What is with you today? But moving on, well ... maybe your father should continue

now."

Dad looks me straight in the eyes as he took over "About eighteen years ago, I was sent to Luna on a diplomatic mission to strengthen the ties between the Eastern Commonwealth and Luna."

"You went to Luna? Like the moon?" I ask him in disbelief.

"Yes, and it is very different now since Queen Selene has taken her throne back."

Queen Selene the Lunar Queen, also known as Linh Cinder, and also known as the girl who has taken my heart. Even though I'm only nine years old, I still have a massive crush on her. She is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen -even more than Princess Winter-, and not to mention is the most brave and strong person I know. And her eyes are just so dreamy and-

"Ryan? Are you listening?"

"What? Yeah, of course I am."

"Well as I was saying," Dad continues "Things back then were very different. For one, Luna was under the rule of the late Queen Channary, who for the most part was an very horrible woman. But I went for six weeks, and for four weeks they were amazing."

"Amazing? Who could they be amazing with an horrible person like that around?"

"Four of those weeks were amazing, and that was because she wasn't horrible with me. I fell in love with her and we were together for four weeks. But a week before I left she thought I was a spy for the Commonwealth, so she broke up with me."

"So, why tell me that now? I find your love life quite nauseating dad."

Mom lets out a chuckle and dad shoots her a confused glare.

"I'm telling you this now because, Ryan it has haunted everyday since then. Whenever it comes up, one questions always nags me: who is or was Princess Selene's father? Then finally yesterday my curiosity got the better of me. I told your mother everything and went to to have a test done."

"A test? Why would you have a test done if you want to find out who Queen Selene's father is?"

"I had a paternity test done. A test to find out if my DNA matches with the new Lunar queen's DNA."

"Dad?" I say slowly, very confused "What are you getting at?"

"Ryan," Mom says for the first time in a while "Queen Selene is your sister."

~tlc~KAIDER~tlc~

"He had a paternity test done?" I ask, thinking my eyes betrayed me as I read the information on the screen before me.

"I told you so, Your Imperial Highness," Nainsis' mechanical voice has a ring of smugness to it, which does not suit her at all.

After Nainsi had told me about Torin's paternity test he had done I went to the research wing to find out myself what Torin had actually done. Not that I don't trust Nainsi, but I just wanted to double check.

"But why would he have a paternity test done? Ryan is his only child and He and Penelope had been married long before they had him. Surely he can't think that Ryan is not his son, right?"

"I do not know Your Majesty, but we can always go further in the record and find out whose DNA he was comparing his to," Nainsi tells him, all prior smugness now gone.

Shaking my head in agreement I click further into the file and see the results. In the center of the screen, there is a message saying: paternity confirmed. On the right side there is an DNA sequence with a title underneath that read Konn Torin. Glancing to the other side the screen I see another DNA sequence and I look underneath it for a name and -no it can't be.

My shock must have showed because Nainsi rolls over next to me.

"Are you okay?"

When I don't reply Nainsi looks at screen herself, analyzing the data displayed.

"Why it can't be," Nainsi says and then she gets that look on her sensor that I've seen a million times over the years; the look when Nainsi is looking for something on her internal netscreen.

"My sensor shows that Konn-dàren that did in fact spend six weeks in Luna about nine months before the late Queen Channary gave birth to the present Queen Selene."

"Oh my stars," I say running a hand through my hair "Torin is Cinder's father."

~tlc~KAIDER~tlc~

"I HAVE A SISTER AND YOU NEVER TOLD ME!" I shout standing up.

"Ryan, please calm down honey," Mom pleads with me.

"NO! I'M NOT GOING TO CALM DOWN!" My voice grows softer as it registers the hurt I feel "Why did you never tell me? I thought you love me."

"Ryan of course we love you," Mom says quickly reaching her left hand towards me but I flinch away.

I look at my parents. They both look hurt and scared like me.

"If you really loved me you would have told me."

The realization starts to creep up on me.

"Oh my stars. I have a sister."


	3. He is your father

So it turns out that Torin is gay. Well, that is not going to happen this story because I have already made a family for Torin. Maybe someday I will do this over with Torin being gay but that just isn't happening right now.

Thanks to FanfictioningFangirl, Randomnamethatwillbeignored and the guest who have reviewd this story so far!

All rights go to Marissa Meyer

* * *

"Your Majesty?" Kinney asks drawing my attention to him and out of my daydreams.

"Yes Kinney?"

"His Imperial Majesty Emperor Kaito of the Eastern Commonwealth is requesting a meeting with you. He claims that it is urgent."

"Well then, I won't keep him waiting."

The thought of seeing Kai -even if it was only a comm- set my nerves on fire. It has been far too long since we talked about something other than trade routes, the bioelectrical manipulation chip, letumosis antidote and all that other shit.

I enter my conference room and my attention goes to the comm screen that takes up most of the eastern wall. And on it is-

"Your Majesty," An all-too-familiar voice greets me.

"Your Imperial Highness, how nice to see you. I trust you are doing well?"

"I will be much more when I am in your company my queen," Kai says flashing me a smile that makes knees buckle and girls swoon.

He gives me a look, one that told me that he wants to be alone and we both simultaneously check for any officials or servants lingering before letting out a sigh of relief.

"Oh stars Cinder, I've missed you."

"I've missed you too Kai, more than you could ever know."

"Do you think that was enough formal talk?"

"Definitely."

"As much as I love to talk to you about something other than the welfare of our countries, what I have to tell you will fall under that category for both of us."

"Get on with it then please."

"I know who your father is."

"My father?"

Obviously I know that I have one but it had never occurred to me that he might still be alive. Queen Channary -my mother (that was still weird to think about)- was dead and I grew up thinking both of my parents are dead so it just seemed natural to assume my dad is dead too.

Plus no one knows who he is. Except for Kai, I guess.

"Yes, your father. I swear I just found out who he is. Please don't be mad with me."

"Of course I'm not mad at you. Just tell me, who is it?"

"Torin, Cinder. Torin is your father."

~tlc~KAIDER~tlc~

Of all the things I had thought would wake me up -Ryan yelling again, Penelope telling me she wants a divorce, a stampede of haters- I never thought that it would be something as simple as a comm. Given how demanding my job is though, it is to be expected, but I just wasn't on my A Game.

Groaning I roll over and click on my netscreen. It immediately brightened and displayed the message that when received had emitted an alert noise and woke me up.

Your Royal Advisor, Konn Torin,

It is my duty to inform you that his Majesty Emperor Kaito has moved up the date of your diplomatic mission to Luna from two weeks from now, this morning at 1100 sharp.

Do not be late.

~Huy Deshal

I look over at my sleeping wife. She looks so peaceful that I don't want to wake her up but I know I have to.

"Penelope," I whisper while I gently shake her awake "Penelope. Penelope, wake up. It is time to get up."

Penelope then starts stirring and rubs her eyes as she slowly wakes up. She lets out a "what?" but it is mainly muffled by a yawn that creeps out of her.

"I'm leaving for Luna today in five hours. I just received a comm informing me that his Majesty moved up the date of the trip."

As I told Penelope that, I got suspicious. Does Kai know? No, he can't. He probably just misses Cinder too much to wait another couple weeks. The stars know how he just lays unresponsive on his bed for extended periods of time every time she isn't available to take every single one of his comms.

"You should probably get ready then, it would not be befitting for the Royal Advisor to the crown of the Eastern Commonwealth to be late."

"Yes, it would be. I'll have Troya pack a bag for me while we eat a family breakfast together."

"Do you really think that that is a good idea after how Ryan blew up last night?"

"Of course it is. We are going to eat a meal as a family before I leave to go to the moon for weeks. Surely he has calmed down by now, he has had a night to think upon it."

"You have good intentions Torin, but we can't really eat breakfast as a family. Not with such vital part of you and our family missing."

~tlc~KAIDER~tlc~

Should I tell her -of course I have to tell her, she will never forgive me if I don't. But how do I tell her?

These thoughts kept running through my mind as we landed in Artemisia. I had promised Fateen and Penelope that I would find a way to tell her Majesty that I am her father. Now, I am cursing myself for all the time that I wasted when I could have been planning how to break the news to her gently.

"Torin, Torin? Are you alright?" A hand on my shoulder shakes me out of my reverie.

I look over and see Kai looking at me with a concerned look on his face.

"Yes, Your Imperial Majesty."

"Oh, Torin. You have known me my whole life, you know you can call me Kai."

"Okay, Your Imperial Majesty Emperor Kai." I say flashing him a smirk.

"For someone so uptight -no offense-, strict and formal, you do surprise me sometimes Torin."

"All in a day's work Your Majesty."

"Yeah, yeah, nevermind. Anyway, it is time to-" Kai starts.

"Go see your girlfriend? And how long will you wait before you whisk her away to go make out?"

Now that I said that I realize, Kai is dating my daughter. And while I was joking, what I said was very much true and I start to get protective of a girl I barely even know.

"Wait, what? Kai asks his cheeks and ear bright red "We don't always make out. And I was trying to be nice but get up you old man!"

"And why would I do that?

"Because I wanna see my girlfriend," Kai says whining.

"Of course, let's not keep her waiting,"

"Finally," Kai mutters under his breath as we descend down the ramp where the Lunar entourage is waiting for us.

Iko the android greeted us with a big smile and squeal. Then Her Majesty's personal guard, Sir, Kinney nodded in respect at us. And then-

"Cinder!" Kai yells and runs towards her before scooping her up into his arms and swinging her around in circles.

"Stars, I've missed you," He says grabbing my daughter's face in his hands before kissing her.

Once Kai finally regains control and stops kissing Cinder, she looks straight in the eyes, still wrapped in Kai's arms who refuses to let her go. In that moment it struck just how much she looked like her mother.

But this wasn't Channary, my first love. She wasn't Linh Cinder, New Beijing's best mechanic and fugitive at large. Nor was this Queen Selene Channary Jannali Blackburn of Luna, a revolutionary.

No, this girl isn't of those anymore, she is my daughter.


	4. I'm your father

All rights go to- nevermind you already know.

Has it really been a month since I updated? Wow. This has been done since then but has needed to be edited and I am not a huge fan of editing my own work. I wasn't inspired either.

 ** _THIS IS UNEDITED. I WILL EDIT SOMETIME, I PROMISE, BUT NOT NOW. ENJOY THIS CHAPTER. NO FLAMES,_**

* * *

"He has been staring at me all day," I whisper as we make our way down the hall.

"I know, but understand that this is as new to him as it is to you. Also he doesn't know that you already know who he really is. Soon he is going to approach and you're going to come face to face with your father for the first time," Kai whispers back.

"It is just that I've spent my whole life -or at least what I can remember of it- thinking that my parents are dead. Then I found out who I really was, I learned who my real mother was, and she was dead. There are no records of my father on Luna, so Iko and I thought that he was dead too. Now I find out who he really is, it is just overwhelming I guess. To have someone you know suddenly become your father."

"But he didn't suddenly become your father. He has been it your whole life whether you knew it or not."

"It just feels that way. This is all very new to me. Having parents. All I can remember for a parental figure is Adri and she abused me, treated me like a servant and a machine. Then I find out who my real family is and the only person left is my psychotic aunt who wants to kill me."

"I know Cinder, I know. And I am going to be with you every step of the way."

"However will I pay you in return for this favor, kind sir?"

"I'm sure I can think of a few ways," Kai says with a sly grin as he lowers his face to mine.

And the rest they say, is history.

~tlc~KAIDER~tlc~

"Okay you can do this Torin. You are a strong and confident man. A teenager shouldn't be able to bring you down, even if she is lunar. You have been the second in command of one of the biggest countries remaining on earth for decades. Surely you can tell a seventeen year old that you're their father."

A pause.

"How am I kidding? I can't do this, but I have to anyway."

The person staring back at me in the mirror looks like a stranger. He oozes confidence and charisma, when in reality I am losing my shit.

Literally losing my shit.

We have been on Luna for seven hours now and I had yet to tell Cinder the truth. I know I have to but I can't bring myself to. I can't risk facing rejection again. The first time with her mother was hard enough.

But the fact is that I don't know her. Not really. I hear snippets everyday from Kai but that isn't enough. It isn't enough to build a paternal relationship on. I don't know about her past. I don't know the sound of her voice or her nervous ticks or anything basically.

How can I do this?

~tlc~KAIDER~tlc~

"Your majesty!" I call out.

She tenses up. Then slowly turns around to face me. I take that as an invitation to join her at the other side of the ornate hallway.

"I'm am sorry, that was very improper of me to yell like that but I needed to get your attention."

"That's okay."

Now we are walking down the hallway and I was struck by the simplicity it. Maybe it was just as simple as walking beside each other. And for the first time since I've found out I have a daughter, I actually believed I could do this.

"Where are you going, Your Majesty?"

"Nowhere at the moment. I take a walk around the palace everyday for a break to clear my mind and stretch my legs. If I stay in one place for to long my left leg gets very sore where the metal meets flesh."

"I imagine it would."

Do it now Torin. DO IT NOW!

"Would you ever want to find out who your father is, Your Highness?"

"M-my father?"

"Yes, your father."

"Nobody knows who he is. Plus even if I were to find him, what would he think of me? Who in their right mind would want a machine for a daughter? I would be so disappointing. Maybe it is better that I don't know him."

My heart aches for this seventeen year old girl who is used to be judges about something that is out of her control. All of my previous confidence washes away and I start to think that maybe I should hold off on telling her.

Just for now.

~tlc~KAIDER~tlc~

"What do you mean you didn't tell her!" Penelope yells at me through our comms.

"I mean that I didn't tell her that I am her father."

"Why are you waiting! Do it now!"

"Well, I was going to earlier so I asked her if she would ever want to find out who her father was. Then she started going on about how she would probably be a disappointment and it was better if she didn't know, so I decided to wait until the perfect time."

" The perfect time?! Torin that was the perfect time! You could have told her that she was your daughter and how much she isn't a disappointment."

"When you say it like that…"

"You know what Torin? This is your responsibility. Don't bother coming home until you have told her. I love you but you are being a coward. Just tell her. I can't do it for you."

~tlc~KAIDER~tlc~

It has been a very tiring day. Torin kept coming near me but never breeched the subject of my parentage. I fall back into my bed and stare up at the ceiling. What is he waiting for? If he doesn't say anything soon, I am going to have to say something and I really don't want to do that.

My thoughts are just a jumbled mess until a knock on my door come. Who could it be at this hour? Nevertheless, I stand up and open the door.

On the other side is Torin. His back is to me but I can see that he isn't his usual pristine self.

"Um, Konn-dàren?"

At the sound of my voice he quickly turns around, his eyes and hair wild.

"Y-your majesty, I'm very sorry to interrupt you at this late hour," He starts, looking at his hands.

"Yes," I say, leaning against the door frame.

"Well, what I mean to say- what I came here to tell you- I need to talk to y-"

"Why don't you come inside?" I ask "You look like you need to sit down."

"Oh, thank you, your highness."

"No problem," I shoot back, moving out of the way so he can get by.

He staggers a bit while entering the room but eventually ends up in an chair by a table on the opposite side of the room than my bed. I follow him and sit on the chair across from him

 _This is it._

And for all the time I've had to accept this, it hadn't really sunk in. For some people a day can feel like an eternity but when you're finding out who your father is it passes by like a blink of an eye.

I haven't had enough time. I need more time. I've never known anything close to parental love. My mom died when I was one and my stepmother abused me. This is the closest I'll ever come to parental love because nobody can every love me. Not truly. (Except maybe Kai…) I'm not ready for this.

 _I'm not ready_.

And suddenly the walls are closing in on me and I can breathe. I can't breathe. Everything is going fuzzy and I feel like I'm going to sick. Is it hot in here? I feel really thirsty. I think I'm starting to shake. Now there is not only one Torin but three and I need to breathe. I can't get any air and-

"Your highness, are you alright?"

The sound of his voice starts to clear my head. Gradually the room stops closing in on me. The nauseous feeling starts to fade. The three Torin's merge to make one across from me, helping me focus. The room temperature slowly drops closer to normal. My body goes still. Finally I can breathe again and I suck in big gulps of air greedily. My throat is still really dry though, I could use some water.

I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out. I go to form the words but nothing happens. I can't talk. So, hesitantly I nod.

"Are you sure, because you don't look very good and you were really zoned out and you were like that for almost ten minutes. You even started shaking. I thought you were going to lose consciousness," Torin's eyes are full of concern "I was going to get a medic but I didn't want to leave you alone."

Finally the words come out "Thank you."

"Are you one hundred percent sure? Like stake your life on it because you're that sure? Or-"

"I'm fine." He doesn't look convinced "Really. I could use some water though."

"I'll be right be with it then, Your Majesty," Torin practically runs out of the room.

~tlc~KAIDER~tlc~

 _Breathe._

That is all that on my mind as I finish off the last few drops of my water. Now there is no place to hide.

 _Just breathe._

"Your Majesty" Torin stands beside me, a concerned hand on my shoulder. I can't get the energy to shake it off.

 _You can do this Cinder._

"Now that you are feeling better perhaps we can talk," He bends down so that he is eye to eye with me.

 _You can survive one simple conversation._

"Can't it wait until the morning? I just want to sleep," I plead with him.

 _Stop doubting yourself._

"I wish it could, Your Majesty, but I wouldn't be here if could. It has to be now," His lips turn up into a sad smile.

There is no stopping it now.

"Can I at least get into my bed? By the tone of your voice this talk is going to be serious and I would like to be comfortable for it."

You are strong.

"Sure, that's fine," He smiles at me.

 _You are brave._

Taken back by his smile, I drag myself over to my bed and plop down on it.

 _You are confident_.

He still stands at the table unsure what to do until I pat the end of my bed.

 _All you have to do is_ **breathe**.

"I'm your father."

 _There it is_.

"I know."

 _That wasn't so hard, was it?_


End file.
